My Divorce Is Final

Today my divorce is final and I have mixed emotions. I have so many thoughts, memories and even tears with coming to terms that my 11 year marriage has come to an end. This has been three years in the making so I wasn’t sure how I would feel today. I remember the day we met when everything was new and exciting, the day he moved in with me, the day we married, and when both of our kids were born. These are all the memories moving us up the hill all the fun and family times. The times laughing and creating memories that will last no matter what. It was hard when we started going down the hill. These are times I tuck away in my memory so I don’t have to relive how hard it was to watch the family we had built fall apart. It was a dark time in my life and I love that I had great family and friends to help me through it. They kept me busy when my kids weren’t with me and that was so hard in the beginning. The house was so quiet and all I did was walk around and look at my kids’ stuff and go into their rooms knowing they weren’t coming home that night. That first year was the hardest I cried almost every day and even though it’s hard for me to write this without tearing up. Marriages aren’t perfect they can be hard but for most of our time together it was good. I’m sad for my kids today because even though we haven’t lived together for over 3 years they know their parents are no longer married and it’s sad for us all over again. I mourned the marriage the first year so I’m not sad that we aren’t together anymore I’m just sad for my kids. I feel as if I have failed them as a mom and that’s what hurts the most. But after today no more tears about this because it’s time to rebuild our lives and move up a new hill. This experience has made me stronger and I know I can do anything for my kids. I can honestly say life is better today and will be even better tomorrow. I have always been a positive person and it’s important for me to learn and grow from this. My journey is not uncommon but I refuse to let it define me or stop me from moving forward with life, my kids and my wonderful relationship with an amazing man. This is for all the people that have gone through or are going through a divorce it does get easier. You are brave and strong and your children will drive you to do whatever it takes to make sure they are happy, healthy and taken care of!